The husband wife bond (Perfect love casts out fear)


I hear a lot about accountability partners and being honest and open with one another. No one knows me better than my wife. She knows me from when I brush my teeth in the morning until I snore at night. After all is said and done we did promise before witnesses that we would love through thick and thin, through sickness and health, through poverty and wealth. She knows my likes and dislikes. My hopes and dreams, my successes and failures. She is the wife of my youth and I love her immensely. With all this, it is still hard for me to submit to her or anyone else as an accountability partner. For one thing, she knows me so well, that I can’t hide anything from her. With someone more distant, I can get away with little secrets withheld and no one even notices. I want to keep my image intact and it feels like that would be damaged somehow if anyone knew my secrets.

One of the main issues in allowing your spouse to be your accountability partner is “will they hold that against me?”. Will that little secret be used against me when we have a disagreement? The only way this can work is if the two of you have an iron clad love for each other so that no matter what, you want what is best for your relationship and you put that relationship above self. If you are certain of that love and realize that together you will make it better than alone, it can work. If a persons ego and self preservation gets in the way, accountability just can’t happen with anybody, not even your spouse. Let’s face the truth, your spouse is honestly your primary accountability partner. Anyone else that you give that title to is really a secondary accountability partner.

Be honest with yourself and your spouse (they have to be at the same level of accountability ). Open your heart and emotions. Let the real you flow out and mingle with the feelings of your spouse so that healing can happen and a more wonderful love bond can grow. Deep down every person wants to know and be known on a deep natural, physical, emotional and spiritual level. There is only one person who can fill that spot and that is your spouse. It is risky to expose yourself that much, but the rewards are worth the risk.

I challenge you to share this text with the person you would most like to know and be known. It could be one of the most meaningful and fulfilling decisions of your life. Start slow and be gentle but do trust. Remember, and believe, “Perfect love casts out fear”.